"Yes." That question is an easy one. He presses his face against the hollow at the base of John's throat, the cool gel-like consistency of the occupied blobby making his skin feel even warmer. "I think about it a lot. All the time."
"Because... Because you and Arthur... you knew what was going to happen. You knew where you were going to go. And things still... went that badly. But I also wonder if... if I go back, if I'll be... trapped there. In that empty. Or if I just... will stop existing at all. I'm not as strong as you. What if-- what if you coming back to Arthur just... makes me disappear."
He considers what he wants to say and how he wants to say it, but specifically, he doesn't want to lie to Edwin. He doesn't want to give him false hope.
"There was something before I was with Arthur. As I was supposed to be on the way there. As... Kayne was delivering on his end of the deal, before the Admiral grabbed me."
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And there's a hand soothing down along his back, letting him stay pressed cool in the hollow there. Back and forth, rhythmic and gentle.
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"There was something before I was with Arthur. As I was supposed to be on the way there. As... Kayne was delivering on his end of the deal, before the Admiral grabbed me."
A pause.
"That reminds me of it."
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He shivers lightly.