SPRING BREEAKKKKK;

[howtheyshine]

He's in the dark. He's in the dark again. A pocket of alive-darkness that he can feel the edges of, he can feel the void that waits.

Well hello there, Yellowhead. We haven't been formally introduced. I'm....

Call me Carmichael.

The laugh that bubbles through the name makes Yellow's soul creep.

You're Kayne.

A silence ripples outward from the nothing-space the voice takes up, a silence deeper than the emptiness of John's unoccupied body. Yel-- Edwin, Edwin curls in on himself, tightening into a tiny knot of spectral energy.

He said the wrong thing, he said the wrong thing, he's going to get hurt--

And how, my little poppet, did you know that.

I-I...

Actually. Know what? Doesn't matter. Sorry to pull the plug on that little experiment so abruptly, but see, I made a deal with your better half--

John!

He can't stop himself. He realizes how stupid the flare of hope is a moment later, when that oppressive empty cold bleak dead cold silent dark silent dark comes creeping back up between him and the voice of Kayne.

I made a deal with him to get him back to Arthur, which means you needed to clear the way.

Of course, I can't be bothered to babysit you.

So you've got a couple of options, here, kid.

Well, two. Which is more like one. Unless you want to go back to the Dark World, in which case--

No-- No, please, I don't care what you want, I'll do it, just--

Okay, okay, Jeeee-sus, stop groveling. It took John a few good centuries to get to that point.

Yellow goes quiet, cowed.

There's this guy I want you to meet. He's like the worst version of Arthur got all the color sucked out of it and given eternal life.

Wh... What?

Well, technically you did meet him. I guess now he gets a chance to meet you, since he's so fucking eager to lick the feet of a god.

The unhinged laughter rings in Yel-- Edwin, Edwin, Edwin's ears as he feels the world get abruptly smaller and his senses get stripped back to shadows.

Comments

[greatoldjohn]

There's a long pause. Edwin won't feel anything for a long moment because he's processing that and he's processing it while also being Arthur's eyes.

Finally-

Edwin... is a nice name.

Why did you choose Edwin?

[howtheyshine]

I... was in another world. For a while. Between... being with Arthur and Kayne doing this. It was the first thing someone called me that wasn't Yellow. At first I just... wanted to be anything but Yellow. But now--

Now it's mine.

I-It's Edwin Buck. B-Because-- because I'm like you, but different.

[greatoldjohn]

Buck. Like...

Oh.

John needs to give himself a moment while Arthur rests in their journey to go through that and he's almost glad that all of his emotions are tumultuous because everything this is is lost in the rest.

You took everything from me.

You almost killed Arthur. And you left him in the snow. He could have died.

Another pause, shorter.

I don't hate you... Edwin.

Shorter still.

Why did you tell me all of that?

[howtheyshine]

He recoils from the-- what, accusations? They're not accusations. They're statements of fact. He took everything from John. He tried to destroy him and when he wouldn't be destroyed, he sent him somewhere that would do the work for him. For what purpose--to reclaim him later or leave him to rot, Edwin doesn't know, can't guess, but it's still his fault. He still did it.

It still hurts. It hurts to know how much he hurt John, and it hurts to remember how much Arthur hates him.

B-because i-in that o-other w... world, we... we decided t-to be brothers. Because you t-told me there that y-you didn't w-want me to say what I thought w-would make you happy. Y-you w... wanted me to tell you the truth.

[greatoldjohn]

Another pause, though this one is shorter than the others have been.

I do want that.

This is longer.

You love me, don't you? That other version of me. You love him very much.

[howtheyshine]

It's so hard not to say anything during that long, long pause. It's so hard not to scramble to explain, to give John as many details as he can, to apologize, to beg, to do anything to hear his brother talk to him, even if it's curses.

I love... you.

It's true. It's true of the John of the Barge. It's true of this John, too. Even this Arthur, Edwin realizes. He would love them in any version of reality where they met. Without them he wouldn't exist. No matter how much they hate him, he'll love them. He won't be able to help it. It's almost a relief to know, that the very idea of John feels like home.

I love him. And I love you. But I don't expect that back. I-It's... I know it's... complicated. I know. I know. And I'm not-- I wanted--

I was jealous of you and Arthur, for a while, for a long time, and I still am a little sometimes, but I wouldn't ever try to take him from you. I never could. Not just because he... hates me here. It's because I'm not you, and you-- You might have been a piece of the King, but you're the other half of his soul.

[greatoldjohn]

There's more thoughtful silence, as much from work to do on his side as anything else. But finally-

I think...

I think I don't mind being your other half.

A heartbeat before-

And that's bullshit! If you're going to love me, I want to get to love you back!

Especially if you're stuck with someone who sounds like a dick!

[howtheyshine]

The strange cocktail of grief and relief and affection and genuine amusement makes him feel dizzy and sick and delighted all at once.

He won't use my name. He keeps calling me your majesty, or highness, or sire, and he sounds like humans in movies when they're about to kiss whenever he talks about gods. And he's...

The exasperation fades into actual discomfort.

Arthur might be mean sometimes but he's not... Larson uses words like... shackles. Like a noose. He wants to use me. He wants to find you. He thinks I'm too stupid to notice that it's all for him.

[greatoldjohn]

Don't take that shit from him! Tell him to use your fucking name. Edwin. It's not that fucking hard!

It's basic fucking courtesy. But there's a few emotions, sensations, no answers before-

Sorry. I have to concentrate. It's getting dangerous.

I'll talk when I can.

[howtheyshine]

Be careful. Stay as-- as safe as you can. I'll keep Larson out of your way. I'll try.

[greatoldjohn]

Take care of yourself.

He's busy for a moment before-

I want to get to love you.

And then the connection is severed as he needs to focus on taking care of Arthur.