Oh, God, he understands that look so much more than he'd like to. How did they get here? Why does anything connected to Arthur always end up going the strangest way possible?
"I don't know... Maybe the library has a book of baby names you can choose from. Are there any names you remember liking when you heard them?"
Crichton feels like he should be taking notes and writing some of those names down. Some, he's sure he's heard before.
"Hm. Not a lot in that sample size. Can't say any of those really seem to fit. Andrew, maybe, but I don't know. Hey, uh... how long have you even been on a human plane of existence at all?"
"I don't know exactly. Arthur kept getting knocked out." He frowns. "At least one day, maybe two or three. Unless this place counts as human plane of existence."
"Three days... tops?" Crichton just looks at Yellow, like he's seeing him for the first time all over again. He's not a lost child, he's an infant. Practically a newborn.
Frell. It's been too long. He has to say something.
"No wonder you have no idea what's going on." Well. That's...something.
"I didn't say you were stupid, man. But you are very new to all of this. You obviously need a crash-course in living like a human. Don't try to say you don't."
"At least two reasons: one, you seem to be mostly inhabiting a human body; two, you have at least one human friend and you are now stuck on an island with a whole lot of us. You don't have to be a human, but if you don't want to end up confused every second of your waking day you might want to learn a little more about how the natives do things."
Sally and Gwen both count. But now there's also farm-John. Some of the others from the feast were nice, but-- ugh fuck. Humans are confusing, that's true.
"Motherfucker. Fine. But what about the book? The thing in the water?"
He can keep scowling all he wants, but Crichton is right and unfortunately he's very smug about it.
"The book is something I'm hoping you can translate for us. I have no idea what's going on with that thing in the water, but if you want me to go check it out with you, I will."
"Great. I'll give Neil a call on the sending stone and let him know you're volunteering to take a look at it. He's the one who has the pages." Though, he thinks he will go ahead and wait to have that call until he gets home so he doesn't accidentally say the wrong thing and risk Yellow backing out.
"I think staying away from that water is the smartest thing you can do. Whatever it is, it's bad news."
"Sure. If that's what you want to do, knock yourself out. Not like dying will keep you down longer than a day. That said, has anyone ever explained the buddy system to you?"
"It's a smart human thing," he corrects, holding up one finger. "When doing something risky, always take a 'buddy' with you as backup because you never know what could go wrong. If something happens and you're the only one there, you won't have any backup. You won't have anyone to corroborate your story, either."
"Yellow... okay if I call you that for now? I'm an enforcer here. It's my job to keep people out of trouble and safe. I use the buddy system every time I'm on duty. It's a real thing. I'm not bullshitting you." Not entirely.
He growls quietly at the word enforcer, the implied threat of it. Crichton says keep people out of trouble and safe and Yellow hears control them. Which makes his stomach and chest feel fluttery with discomfort.
"So humans need it. What does that have to do with me."
And Crichton has just moved him from 'baby' category in his mind to 'rebellious teenager.' They grow up so fast.
"Not just humans live here. Hell, the one in charge of the Enforcers isn't even human. It's not about that. The point is I'm going to feel bad if you get hurt when I could have prevented it."
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"I don't know... Maybe the library has a book of baby names you can choose from. Are there any names you remember liking when you heard them?"
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Names he remembers liking, though--
He shakes his head slowly. "I haven't heard that many. Arthur, John, Lily, Jack, Carmichael, Irvine, Larson, Wallace, Andrew, Bartholomew."
He counts them off on his fingers as he says them.
He frowns, and it deepens into a scowl. "And Addison. And Faust. Those were the only names I heard before this place."
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"Hm. Not a lot in that sample size. Can't say any of those really seem to fit. Andrew, maybe, but I don't know. Hey, uh... how long have you even been on a human plane of existence at all?"
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Frell. It's been too long. He has to say something.
"No wonder you have no idea what's going on." Well. That's...something.
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"I fucking know things!" DEEP OFFENSE.
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"Why the fuck would I want to live like a human. The only good thing about humans is fingers."
And art, and food, and gentleness, and-- shut up.
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"At least two reasons: one, you seem to be mostly inhabiting a human body; two, you have at least one human friend and you are now stuck on an island with a whole lot of us. You don't have to be a human, but if you don't want to end up confused every second of your waking day you might want to learn a little more about how the natives do things."
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"...Two," he mutters. "Two human friends."
Sally and Gwen both count. But now there's also farm-John. Some of the others from the feast were nice, but-- ugh fuck. Humans are confusing, that's true.
"Motherfucker. Fine. But what about the book? The thing in the water?"
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He can keep scowling all he wants, but Crichton is right and unfortunately he's very smug about it.
"The book is something I'm hoping you can translate for us. I have no idea what's going on with that thing in the water, but if you want me to go check it out with you, I will."
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"I'll... I'll look at the book. I don't want to go in the water."
Whatever, whoever that was, it scared him.
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"I think staying away from that water is the smartest thing you can do. Whatever it is, it's bad news."
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"I meant that if I want to go looking in the water, I don't need anyone else."
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"Sure. If that's what you want to do, knock yourself out. Not like dying will keep you down longer than a day. That said, has anyone ever explained the buddy system to you?"
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Curiosity wins.
"No." A pause. "It sounds like some stupid human thing."
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"It's a smart human thing," he corrects, holding up one finger. "When doing something risky, always take a 'buddy' with you as backup because you never know what could go wrong. If something happens and you're the only one there, you won't have any backup. You won't have anyone to corroborate your story, either."
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"Isn't it good not to have someone else there, if they won't tell the story you want them to?"
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"That's why they call it a buddy system. Make sure you trust your buddy to have your back." That sounds plausible, right?
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He doesn't trust anyone that much. Which is why rather than answering he's going to pick up his plate and eat more hotdog, doubtfully.
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"Yellow... okay if I call you that for now? I'm an enforcer here. It's my job to keep people out of trouble and safe. I use the buddy system every time I'm on duty. It's a real thing. I'm not bullshitting you." Not entirely.
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"So humans need it. What does that have to do with me."
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"Not just humans live here. Hell, the one in charge of the Enforcers isn't even human. It's not about that. The point is I'm going to feel bad if you get hurt when I could have prevented it."
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I don't know why all my tags are like this lately djdg